8. THEY'LL TALK TO YOU
Not too long ago, Dan smashed his cell phone with a rock. He wasn't angry, just making a decision. His laptop is next. Nine times out of ten, Chris's voice mail is full. If you get through, he might call you back. Keith won't. In 2003, Surfer's Chris Mauro had to convey to ABC that, no, Keith didn't want to be The Bachelor.

9. THEY'LL DRINK IT
One night before I was to go surfing with the Malloys, Chris called me. "Hey," he said, "if I don't make sense it's because we've been drinking. But I helped my dad move cows today, Dan's been doing a monster surf session, and Keith's gone boar hunting. So I guess dawn patrol is out of the question."

I arrived at Chris's place the next afternoon to find him skinning a leg of the boar Keith shot. He lectured as he worked: how to tease the skin away from the meat; which of his herbs would make the best marinade. For a waterman, Chris spends a great deal of time pondering his backyard. The acre is already home to chickens, ducks, two large German shepherds, and a steer. He recently added a pair of baby boars.

Keith, meanwhile, is launching expeditions to icy, virgin breaks. "British Columbia, Alaska, the east coast of Canada—most of these spots are completely unexplored," he says. And Dan's working with surf-film director Taylor Steele on a new movie.

But at the moment, Chris just wants to drive over to his brothers' place to surf and eat. "I don't know if there will be waves," he says, "but we'll get wet, watch the sun set, and cook some food. That'll be good enough for today—actually, that's good enough for most days."